let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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