Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize