it hurts more in the daytime
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
