so explain again why im purple
no
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
