then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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