physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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