they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
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the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
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I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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