Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just high enough for therapy.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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