champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
