I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
