He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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