that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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