please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
