he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
