More tranny stories later!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
