We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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