This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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