Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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