Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
