id be glad to
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
