Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Less talking, more tequila
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
