I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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