I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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