I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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