I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
