We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
