Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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