I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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