Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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