I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
