I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
