I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
