Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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