ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
