my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
