also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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