She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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