This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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