So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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