Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
