I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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