So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
