my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
