if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
