Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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