Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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