The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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