I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
