Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize