Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
