apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
