it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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