plz talk dirty to me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
