yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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