I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
whose ass print is on the piano?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Randomize
