I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
