I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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