I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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