Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
