If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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