woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
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i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I currently don't understand fingers.
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