haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
