I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
