she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
