i already hear my dad disowning me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
